Gardening Fail!

So the story begins at the end of winter... At this time I still haven't found land to start raising livestock, so I decide to do the only thing I could think of doing, grow plants. One caveat, I have never planted a seed (successfully) in my life! So if death freaks you out, you might want to stop reading here...

Attempt #1: One day I order seeds online from seedsnow.com. Good information on the website, non-GMO and non-Monsanto. Sweet! Sign me up!

(Pepper (SWEET), Pepper (HOT), Bean, Cucumber, Kale, Onion, Carrot, Tomato - large, Tomato - Cherry, Parsley, Cilantro and Basil)

With my seeds on their way, I head over to Menards to pick up what I think I'll need to propagate. Dirt and those green house things with the pods that look like cardboard you fill up with dirt. Everything I need... right...?

So my seeds arrive a few days later and I get to planting. I sowed my seeds in dry dirt. Afterwards, I go to the kitchen sink and use the spray nozzle to drench everything. Cover with the plastic greenhouse lid and away we go!

Result #1: I put the trays in our bedroom (not so warm, but it was the only space we had in the house) on the book case to grow big and strong. Almost everything sprang up in a short amount of time. After a couple days I noticed they were growing up, but not out. I could almost hear them screaming for light. Needless to say, they all keeled over... except a couple pepper plants that are alive and thriving to this day.

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Attempt #2: I dislike the cardboard cutout seed trays you just cut out to plant, they were such a hassle. Therefore, I got the older style trays with the plastic seed pods. For the most part, I did everything the same, except I used a spray bottle for watering to regulate it a little better.

Result #2: The kale shot right up within a couple days! That's exciting! I know I need to get these guys to some light before they die... again. On a Sunday morning I place the newly sprouted kale in the yard while we went off to church. It was sunny and warm. I'm thinking perfect weather to get some good growth.

And then I came home... the sun had scorched ALL the kale. 18 kale plants, dead. Ok... I still have tomatoes, cucumber, green onions and 3 types of herbs. There is still have a chance to make something happen here. The tomatoes come through, and then the herbs. Success! (kinda...) They're growing too fast for me to get the appropriate amount of light to them. At the first opportunity I get, I make another run to Menards and I pick up a 4ft shop light and some poor man's grow bulbs. I get the lights set up in the garage and I'm home free. I have water, light and a stable environment.

So, if that's the case... What happened to my onions and my cucumbers? Out of 9 cucumbers, 1 survived. Out of 9 onions, 0 survived...

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Attempt #3: Where the 3 verities died, I planted more kale, swiss chard, summer squash, cucumber and more basil. Still waiting for those to come through... It looks like this growing season will be chalked up to a learning experience.

Any tips, tricks or comments are always appreciated.